Dr. ABBAS  home.gif (1126 bytes)

                                                                                             

 

My husband has no sex drive
Q. I am 26 years old and my husband is 28 years old. My husband has almost no sex drive and it is making me crazy. I am young and enjoy sex very much, and I feel that my needs are not being met. I sometimes feel that my husband does not love me. I feel it is causing a real rift in our marriage. I do not know what to do. Do you have any advice for me on how to handle the differences in our sexual and emotional needs?
Concerned Reader, Mwanza.
A. There is a number of things you can try. If your sexual appetite is a lot stronger than your husband’s, that is going to leave you sexually frustrated. You can ask him to satisfy you every once in a while without having an orgasm himself. You can also masturbate yourself. Hopefully, by trying those two methods as well as making love to your husband will meet your sexual needs. While sex can certainly be an expression of love, there are other means of expression. Your husband, if he really does not feel like having sex very often and yet does love you, should make an effort to show his love for you in these other ways. He should hold hands with you, cuddle you, hug you, and take you out for a romantic evening, whatever it takes to prove he loves you. If you both follow my advice, you are still not going to have the ideal marriage that you might have fantasized about. If you can make things better than they are now and accept that, then the two of you will be fine and help each other.

Exercise that Improves Sex
Q. I am 28 years old and my husband is 30 years old. Since I had my son four years ago, my vagina has been stretched out of shape. I feel that I have lost some of my sensitivity because of being so much larger than before, and it is harder for me to reach orgasm. What can I do to make my vagina smaller? Let me know some alternative ways of improving my sex life, apart from having an operation.
Concerned Reader, Lindi.
A. When a woman gives birth, her vagina, which is also the birth canal, stretches out to accommodate the large size of the baby’s head and shoulders. Normally, after a period of time, several weeks or months, her body regains its form. For some women, doing exercises called Kegel’s exercise can help to regain the body’s form to its pre-pregnancy shape. The exercises strengthen and contract the pelvic muscles. Those muscles are the love muscles that can produce increased physical pleasure and the exercises help the vagina to pump it back into shape to resume or approximate its normal size. For starters, you can use the pelvic exercise as a daily method for strengthening and tightening your inner structures. The exercise is an under girdle that stretch across the floor of the pelvis. To do them properly takes patience, training and diligence. They should be done at the same time every day. I recommend the following techniques: First to locate them, sit in the position to urinate and while peeing, stop the flow. That sensation is what you are seeking and those are the same muscles that can build back your sexual stamina and anatomy. Now, without using urination as the test zone, squeeze these muscles tightly for about two counts then release for the same time; repeat this 20 times; take a break for about a minute, then repeat the process twice. That will give you a daily round of 60 repetitions a day and results should be expected in about three weeks. Be sure that you and your partner continue to share loving and sexual time together, apart from sexual intercourse. Remember that usually a woman’s clitoris, not her vagina, holds the key for orgasm to occur. So, be sure that you focus on that area for pleasure and divert yourself and your lover away from relying on the inside probe.

Itchy Groin
Q. I am 18 years old and my groin is very itchy. I am now very tired of it. Can you let me know what it is and what should be done about it?
Concerned Reader, DSM.
A. You are suffering from a fungal infection. This is common and affects men more often than women. An intact healthy skin is particularly important in tropical areas where fungal infection is common. Extensive infections impair sweating and heat loss and causes misery through irritation. Scratching leads to secondary bacterial infection. The upper inner thigh is involved and lesions expand slowly to form sharply demarcated plaques with peripheral scaling. Fungal infections are treated by tropical anti-fungal creams and ointment and may need oral medication depending on the extent of the infection. You need to see your doctor for proper check up and treatment.