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Love potion A traditional healer's sexual tricks backfired when his patient reported him for rape. The healer is accused of smearing "muti" (a love potion) on his male organ, and then using it to "inject" the muti into the woman's genital, said Capricorn police spokesperson Captain Mohale Ramatseba in South Africa. "The muti was supposed to make the woman's boyfriend more interested in her," said Ramatseba. But when the muti failed to work, the 21-year-old woman returned to the healer to complain. When the healer prepared to "inject" her again, she ran to the Polokwane police station and reported him for rape. No gullible patient this! |
Blame it on self A elderly Romanian man mistook his male organ for a chicken's neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it, a news report said. It said 67-year-old Constantin Mocanu, from a village near the southeastern town of Galati, rushed out into his yard in his underwear to kill a noisy chicken keeping him awake at night. "I confused it with the chicken's neck," Mocanu, who was admitted to the emergency hospital in Galati, was quoted as saying. "I cut it, and the dog rushed and ate it." Can it get any worse? |
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Tatoo of shame A man went into the hospital with "I love women" tattooed on his leg, but when he came out it read, "I love men." The unlucky patient is now too embarrassed to wear shorts after the tattoo was accidentally altered during surgery. The man had gone for a heart bypass operation. Surgeons had to take out part of the large vein in his leg to replace a section of blocked artery in his chest. But when doctors sewed up the leg, they removed the first two letters of the word "women." Leeds General Infirmary said, "Part of the tattoo was accidentally erased." To make it worse, the British Medical Journal published a picture of the man to warn doctors to be careful when operating on tattooed skin. |
Anything for promotion
Belgian men are willing to have sex with their bosses to get a promotion or a salary increase than women, a a human resources weekly has said. According to the Vacature poll -- based on 12,078 Belgians interviewed -- 12 percent of all men would be willing to sleep with their boss to try to advance their career, compared to only one percent of women. The survey did not reveal how many said they actually had sex with their bosses. It showed that 22 percent of males often fantasise about having sex with one of their colleagues, compared to seven percent of women. It’s like eating your cake and having it too! |
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French power The French have topped a survey as being the people who have sex the most. A survey found the French have sex 137 times during one year. Condom Company Durex has released the result of its latest world sex survey. The survey interviewed 350 thousand people in 41 different countries across the globe. The Japanese got last place in the survey as they have sex in average 46 times during a year. In Latin America, Brazil got first place having sex 96 times in 365 days. The British won the title for being the people who take longer getting warmed up for sex, 25 minutes in average. The survey has also revealed that all over the world people have an average of 10.5 partners throughout life. Kudos to the French! |
Driving ‘em crazy An American man has put a face to the anonymous references people often make to "they" by changing his name to just that, "They." The former Andrew Wilson, a 43-year-old self-employed inventor, was granted legal permission by a circuit judge to change his name. It's just They, no surname. He also has changed his driver's license to reflect his new name. They said he did it for humour to address the common reference to "they." "'They do this,' or 'They're to blame for that.' Who is this 'they' everyone talks about? 'They' accomplish such great things. Somebody had to take responsibility," he said. Now, his friends are getting used to his new name. "They call up and say, 'Is They there?'" Seems the name could drive grammarians crazy! |
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Robber humbled A Croatian armed robber abandoned a bank hold up after the cashier laughed at his order to stick 'em up. The masked robber entered a bank at Zagreb's main square in plain daylight and threatened the clerk with his gun. "Knowing she was behind a bulletproof glass, the clerk laughed heartily, rang her boss to say she was being robbed and asked him to call the police," the police said. The humiliated robber turned and took to his heels. So much for the bravado! |
Tailpiece
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with
his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running
his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few
minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" His father replied,
"Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy
and in good shape before I buy. |