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Saving business A Sicilian entrepreneur has offered to donate parts of his body for organ transplants in an effort to keep his business alive. "I am ready to donate a kidney, a retina or part of my liver," Giuseppe Schirru was quoted as saying in Italian newspapers. "I don't mean to sell them. I will offer them up for donation in exchange for a loan," he added. Schirru owns a small shop near the Sicilian capital Palermo that sells orthopaedic goods, but he has recently run on hard times because of cash flow problems. "I'm not a madman and I don't want to be put away, but I have knocked on every door and had no reply," he was quoted as saying. Man with a mission! |
False alarm An Indian military vessel surprised Japan as it arrived for a goodwill visit billowing columns of white smoke, alarming fire-fighters who rushed to the ship's aid. But the 3,950 ton Indian Navy destroyer Ranvijay was only using its engines, a spokesman for the Japan Coast Guard says. Major media, including the Japan Broadcasting Corporation (NHK) and Kyodo News wire service, dispatched helicopters to cover the incident. The coastguard spokesman says no one has been injured and no oil leak has been detected. Indian navy chief Admiral said in August the force urgently needed to replace its ageing fleet. At least that could have spared them the embarrassment! |
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Striptease for cops A woman in Estonia pulled over by police on suspicion of driving while drunk tried to get out of the ticket by performing an impromptu striptease that was captured on police video. The woman, who was not identified, was pulled over in Tallinn’s capital Mustamae. After the woman took, and failed, a breathalyzer test, she suddenly bared her breasts to the two officers. The police spokeswoman confirmed a tabloid report that the woman then offered the pair of officers a private performance. Apparently, a police camera caught the incident on tape. Either the lady was too smart to too desperate. |
Sex break California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is married to a Kennedy, joked at a public-policy conference his sex life suffered after he endorsed President George W. Bush at the Republican National Convention. "There was no sex for 14 days," he said. "Everything comes with side-effects." Asked about the presidential debates, Schwarzenegger said if he wanted to watch a smart liberal Democrat and a Republican leader argue, "I'd just take my wife out to dinner." Chicken! |
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Foul talk Charges were dropped against a pregnant woman arrested and forced to the ground by UK’s Metro Transit Police for allegedly talking too loudly on a cellphone. "I'm happy that it's over with," Sakinah Aaron, the defendant, said of the incident that has raised questions about the conduct of the police force. The 23-year-old Aaron was arrested at a subway station in the Maryland suburb of Wheaton and charged with disorderly conduct and resisting arrest. Officials of the transit system had claimed that one of their officers heard Aaron yelling obscenities into a cellphone and said that when the officer told her to stop, she used similar language on him. May be there should be guidelines for cellphone etiquette as well! Are the Singaporeans listening? |
The act British police sprang into operation after receiving an emergency '999' phone alert from a woman in apparently in some distress -- only to discover it had accidentally been made by a couple having sex. Officers at Durham in northern England became alarmed when the call came through to their headquarters in the middle of the night and all they could hear was what sounded like a woman crying with a man's voice in the background. Police traced the number and rushed to the scene, where they found the embarrassed and dishevelled couple who explained they were "messing around." "It happened while they were having sex. The woman had depressed with her foot the '9' button on the phone which happened to be on the floor," according to a Durham police spokesman. Indiscreet! |
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Chocolate massage Unable to pass meaningful legislation, deputies in Mexico's Congress have been offered a chance to kick back with a full-body chocolate massage. A leftist deputy stirred up a fuss by offering fellow lawmakers a 10 percent discount on massages at a posh salon even as proposed legislative measures seen as important to the economy gather dust. Angelica de la Pena, a member for the leftist Party of the Democratic Revolution, sent the lower chamber's 500 members a letter on official notepaper urging them to try the salon and recommending anti-depression "chocolate massages." Rubbing it in, eh? |
Tailpiece
Typical macho man married typical good-looking
lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: |