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Sex On Internet
Q. I am 29 years old and my wife is 23 years old. We married a year ago. My wife spends hours on Internet chartrooms every day and I believe she is having an affair on Internet. She says that she is having fun and that nothing will come out of it. Am I wrong to feel upset?
Concerned Reader, Arusha.

A. No, you are not. Internet relationships can and do become sexual relationship. Sex in this context consists of an exchange of explicit messages accompanied by masturbation. Many people who meet online and have virtual sex feel that their relationship is as real and intense as a conventional relationship and because of this, they may feel compelled to meet. Some couples have separated or divorced as a result. On the other hand, many virtual sex relationships are causal and last the length of one exchange or at most a few days or weeks.
Your wife needs to understand that by cutting herself off from you, she is stifling the emotional growth and communication that a good relationship requires. She also needs to understand that virtual sex and flirtation can seriously damage your relationship. For your part, try to accommodate your wife’s need for excitement - arrange for the two of you to go out in the evenings, for example. If it persists and her interest in chartrooms is the sign of deeper malaise in your relationship, you might benefit from seeing your doctor.

Lousy Partner
Q. I am 20 years old and my boyfriend is 27 years old. He is a fantastic lover, but a lousy partner. If it was not for our sex life I would have left him. I am terrified that I will never have such good sex again. I am confused. What should I do?
Concerned Reader, DMS.

A. Sex is only one part of a long-term relationship - a part that is extremely important in the early years, but one that shakes into place as time goes on. A dilemma involves making a difficult choices, so start by being clear about exactly what your alternatives are and is there a third way that you have not yet considered. Be clear about the consequences of each course action. Talk things over with an impartial third part such as a trusted friend or relative. Once you have decided on a course of action, commit to it whole-heartedly; do not back tract or be hesitant. If your boyfriend does not value you or is in any way abusive, you probably need to leave him in order to rebuild your self-respect. You need to talk to him or maybe involve some body you trust to solve the problems. If every thing fails then it might help you to see that making an absolute break could be the best thing to do. If you are worried about craving sex, be comforted by the fact that after a while many women experience sleeping beauty syndrome and do not actually miss sex as much as they anticipate.

Split due to thrush
Q. I am 19 years old; my problem is that every time my boyfriend and I make love, the thrush appears. I am now at a point where I do not want to make love any more. In fact it has caused us to split up. I am now in a new relationship and again the problem reoccurres. What should be done? I would appreciate your response and cure of my problem.
Concerned Reader, Dodoma.

A. You are suffering from vaginal thrush, infection caused by candida albicans (candidiasis). In healthy human beings the fungus occurs on the skin and in the intestines, and often causes no infection or difficulties. Candidiasis of the vagina can cause vaginal discharge, which is thick, creamy in color and smell yeasty. Thrush is a common yeast growth that can cause extreme soreness and itchiness. It can be passed between sex partners, but you can also get it if one have diabetes, or spontaneously, perhaps as a result of taking antibiotics or using highly perfumed soap on your genitals. Infection is also easy to get in pregnancy or if you are on oral contraceptive pill.
The symptoms are intense genital soreness, irritation and vaginal discharge. Some tips to reduce infection are as follow: You need to reduce your weight if you are over weight, stop wearing synthetic or tight clothing, stop using perfumed products on your genitals and apply a fungicidal cream or pessaries to the vagina. Along with creams to apply locally you need to be prescribed tablets for this infection. You should avoid having intercourse until your thrush has been completed. At the same time your boyfriend should also be treated.