Pope blesses lambs

Pope John Paul receives many respectful visitors in his private study but those who
arrived on Friday last week were different -- they bleated.
Two white baby lambs were there to be blessed and they were carried in wicker
baskets adorned with roses to the study where the Pope normally receives world
leaders.
Presumably unaware of whose presence they were in and they bleated several times
during the brief ceremony.
Their wool will be used during the year to make a liturgical vestment called the
Pallium, a circular garment worn over the shoulders by the Pope and bishops during
special Masses.
The blessing ceremony traditionally takes place on January 21 of each year, the Feast
of St Agnes, a third-century martyr and symbol of purity.
 

Judge facing charges

A former state judge, who allegedly used a sex toy called a penis pump in court, was
charged with three felony counts of indecent exposure by Oklahoma authorities last
week.
Former Judge Donald Thompson, 58, pleaded not guilty in the Creek County District
Court in the northeastern Oklahoma town of Sapulpa. If convicted, Thompson could
face up to 10 years in prison for each count.
At the courthouse , Thompson was taken to a backroom where he provided a DNA
sample to authorities.
Last year, a court reporter who worked for Thompson was fired after she said she saw
the judge masturbate and use the penis pump during hearings. Other witnesses
claimed they saw Thompson use the pump in court.
Thompson stepped down in August after the allegations came to light and the state
attorney general acted to remove him from the bench.

Icelanders say sorry

A group of nationals from tiny Iceland have slammed their government's support of
the U.S.-led war in Iraq , apologising to Iraqis in a full-page advertisement in The New
York Times.
The advertisement, paid for with donations from more than 4,000 citizens which
constitutes about 1.4 percent of the population, demanded "that Iceland be
immediately removed from the list of invaders in the 'coalition of the willing'.
"We apologise to the Iraqi people for the Icelandic ministers' support for the invasion
of Iraq," said the ad.
Four out of five Icelanders want their country off the list, according to a Gallup
opinion poll published earlier this month.
But a foreign ministry official ruled out any policy change.
"No, Saddam Hussein has been overthrown and we are steadfast in our support for
stability and democracy in Iraq," Foreign Minister David Oddsson's political adviser
Illugi Gunnarsson said.
Iceland's backing has had little impact on the coalition's fortunes since the war began
in March 2003. The North Atlantic archipelago of 295,000 people and no military has
contributed nothing but its government's verbal support.
"The decision to land us on this list of the coalition of the willing should have been
discussed by parliament's foreign affairs committee," said Olafur Hannibalsson,
spokesman for the National Movement for Active Democracy, which placed the ad.
He characterised the government's unilateral action as a "deviation from our foreign
policy".

 

New York dogs audition for musical

Two-dozen dogs living in New York animal shelters have had their shot at stardom
with an audition for parts in a new Broadway musical and the chance to live out their
days on a farm.
One hound mix and one collie won parts in the upcoming "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang,"
a stage musical of the popular movie to open on Broadway's new Hilton Theatre in
April.
As part of their prize, the dogs will live on a Connecticut farm owned by the show's
handler when the production closes.
An 8-months-old white-and-caramel hound mix called "Fred," and a 10-month-old,
70-pound collie with a long and pointy snout called "Argyle" won the audition -- and
with it a dressing room, grooming, and secure retirement to Bill Berloni's farm.
Berloni, in charge of canine casting, looked for temperament in the dogs and the
ability to get along with the other members of the four-legged cast -- Bart, Harriet,
Patches, Barney and Lady Guinevere -- chosen by him from different animal shelters.
The audition was open to all breeds and dogs, from mastiffs to terriers -- all from
shelters. Among those was "Winks" a one-eyed brown 18-month female German
shepherd, "Aida" a 6- to 7-year-old terrier mix which previously had a skin disease,
and "Tasha" a cream-colored 18-month-old bull mastiff.
"If I felt the dogs weren't having a good time here, then the show is not good for
them," Berloni said.
During auditions, Berloni played with the dogs, tried to roll them over on their backs
and gave them cookies to see their reaction and temperament.
The pack of dogs will perform their part by jumping on and knocking down one
character eating candy.
Berloni, a theatrical trainer for 27 years, said he always works with animals from
shelters. "Rescue dogs are quicker to train and grateful because they come from an
unfortunate background," he said. "I have 15 dogs that have been in movies and
television and all are from shelters."

Bush escapes 'Handshake Man'

"Handshake man" struck again -- almost.
The unidentified man who embarrassed police by sneaking past inauguration security
four years ago to get a handshake from President Bush was arrested last week before
he had a chance to get another presidential grip.
"We checked his information against our information and it turned out that it was
him," said Michael Lauer, spokesmen for the US Capitol Police.
Asked if the man was close to getting a handshake when he was arrested, Lauer said,
"absolutely not."
The man, who police did not name, was arrested on an outstanding misdemeanor
warrant for unlawful entry dating back to the 2001 inauguration.
 

Tailpiece

Viagra

A man is walking through the local market, when a stranger comes up to him and
offers to sell Viagra for 1,000 shillings.
"No, not worth it!"
"OK, how about 500 shillings?"
"No, not worth it!"
"OK, 200?"
"No, not worth it!"
"How about 100?"
"No, not worth it!"
"Listen, these pills cost US $10 each. How can you say they are not worth it?"
"Oh, the pills ARE worth it. My wife is not worth it."