Dr. ABBAS 

Celibacy
Q. I am 27 years old and my husband is 29 years old. We have been married for two years. I would like to ask something, which my husband keeps on repeating, that sexual abstinence is good for you. Is it true?
Concerned Reader, DSM.

A. Celibacy is a state of sexual abstinence. Some people are under the impression that sexual abstinence is conducive to human health and happiness. Because of this misguide belief they make an attempt to conserve the so-called energy by abstinence. If they are unsuccessful in their attempt, they develop guilt and anxiety. When this process is repeated several times the roots of the problem grow deeper and deeper. Continuous suppression of the sex drive leads to emotional instability and evokes an abundance of sexual imagery. This condition usually leads to other problems such as inability to concentrate, insomnia, irritability and extreme nervousness. The extent of disturbance depends upon the individual’s own mental state and the environment. At times, the consistent suppression and continued inactivity of the sex organs lead to diminished ability to function normally. Besides, it would be a serious mistake to harbor any misconceptions about celibacy because celibacy is not necessary healthy.

Flaccid Penis
Q. I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 20 years old. I need to ask you a few things. Is the length of the penis in flaccid state important? Is the width of penis important? What is the normal length of an erect penis? Is it of importance in satisfying a woman?
Concerned Reader, Tunduru.

A. The length in the flaccid state is immaterial as it is used for urination only. It is the erect penis that is used for performing the sex act. No, the width of the penis has no importance. The vagina is highly elastic. It can expand from the size of the little finger to that of a baby’s head. The vagina can accommodate itself to the size of the inserted penis. Concern regarding penile size is as old as the human race. The width, length and erection of the penis vary from one individual to another. The average sexual length of the vagina is about 6 inches and only the outer one third (2 inches) has the maximum nerve endings; the inner two thirds (4 inches) being virtually insensitive.
If a man wants to arouse his partner, he should concentrate on the area where there are maximum nerve endings, that is the outer lips (labia major) and the outer one third that is the outer 2 inches of the vagina. Therefore, for female sexual gratification, the size of the erect penis could be anything from 2 inches plus. However the size of the penis may be an important factor for women who harbor the myth that a man with large penis can satisfy his partner better than one with a smaller one. An archer is known by his aim and not by the size of his arrow. It is man’s technique and not his penis size that characterizes a good lover.

Orgasm Control
Q. I am 17 years old and have problems of orgasm, as I cannot control it. How can one improve orgasm control without a partner involvement? I would appreciate it as it is putting me in embarrassing situations.
Concerned Reader, Bukoba.

A. In order to improve orgasm control, the following sequence of exercise has proved very effective scientifically after several researches. There are designed to increase an individuals awareness of the sensations and progressively develop control over the time period. Each step in this exercise may take a week or more. In step one, you masturbate stopping just prior to orgasmic inevitability and allow the arousal to decline. One should continue this stop-start sequence for about 15 minutes. One should pause long enough so as to ensure that one is not back to the stage of orgasmic inevitability when one starts again. The main purpose of this exercise is to learn to recognize the point of orgasmic inevitability and to train oneself to stop stimulation before reaching the point of no return. After you can comfortably masturbate as in step one for 15 minutes some variation can be added.
Change the method of holding the penis in such a way that there is maximum palm control. Use some kind of lubricant so that the sensations are almost akin to those generated if the penis were indulged in fantasies. As you enjoy these fantasies you are also preparing yourself to avoid early orgasmic response when you are confronted with your partner. With your partner, she repeats the exercise of step one, but instead of allowing the male partner to reach extra vaginal orgasm, she stimulates the man to erection and mounts him lowering herself and putting the penis in her vagina. Once the penis is inside she remains motionless like a statue. Once the feeling subsides, both of them should repeat the same for 15 minutes. You need to make the moves in a gradual fashion initially so that you do not get aroused too much.