Rev. who denied God exists back in pulpit

A Danish Lutheran minister who publicly denied the existence of God said Sunday he was glad to be back in the pulpit, but refused to speak about the case that led to his brief suspension last year.
Rev. Thorkild Grosboell was showered with flowers, hugs and kisses after holding a service in a church in this village eight miles north of Copenhagen.
“It was great, great,” Grosboell said after the service, but refused to speak to reporters about the case, which he described in his sermon as “nonsense.”
The country’s Evangelical Lutheran Church suspended him in June 2004 because he said in an interview that “there is no heavenly God.” Earlier this month, he was reinstated after renewing his vows, but will remain under the supervision of a bishop.
Some 250 people filled the small, 140-year-old, red-brick church and then gathered on a nearby lawn for a drink to celebrate the popular minister’s return.
“It’s a great relief, a great joy to have you back,” Lars Heilesen, head of the parish council, told Grosboell.
“Welcome back, Thorkild, we missed you,” one churchgoer said, kissing Grosboell, who has been the village minister since 1991.
In Denmark, where Lutheran ministers are employed by the state and only the government can fire them or take them to court, the church requested Grosboell be placed before a disciplinary labor court for doubting eternal life and the resurrection.
The government refused, saying he should be given another chance to explain himself to Jan Lindhardt, a regional bishop who has been one of his few defenders. Lindhardt has said that although he disagrees with Grosboell’s views there should be room for him in Denmark’s state church.
On May 20, Grosboell renewed his clerical vows before Lindhardt, but said his views about God remain unchanged.
 

San Francisco hosts self-pleasure marathon

San Francisco’s Center for Sex and Culture played host on Saturday to the city’s annual “Masturbate-a-thon,” an event its organizers said could draw up to 120 people from across the United States aiming to have a good time with themselves.
The event was organized to help raise funds for the center, and, according to its organizer, provide an outlet for safe sex for those who enjoy pleasuring themselves in a semi-public setting.
Carol Queen, director of the center, acknowledged that the event is unusual -- even by San Francisco’s standards. The permissive city, which helped ignite a debate on gay marriage last year, tolerates many sorts of sexual behavior but masturbation seems a topic that is off-limits, she said.
“Even people who are sexually frisky ... might have the bias that many Americans do, that it’s second-best sex, that it’s something you do if you can’t figure something else out,” Queen said.
The Saturday night event also had a competitive side.
One New York man arrived shortly after 5 p.m. seeking to break the endurance six-and-a-half hour record set at last year’s event. The rules allow for a five-minute break every hour.
The female marathon winner last year, Norine Dworkin, chronicled her experiences in the women’s magazine Marie Claire, saying hours later the activity was “about as pleasurable as rubbing an elbow.”
This year, others like Tony, who gave only his first name, attended the event to indulge in exhibitionist behavior in front of other people.
“I grew up believing that this is a horrible, nasty thing you shouldn’t overdo,” said Tony who is from California’s Central Valley. “The whole point is coming out and making love to your best friend.”
Melissa Gira, a former peep show performer who oversaw the evening’s Web cast, was considering joining in, as she had done last year. “It’s interesting to be sexual in public,” she said.

Dog faeces causes political stink

A police sniffer dog caused a political stink in South Africa’s parliament after leaving its excrement under of the seat of a prominent opposition leader.
The dog faeces found Thursday under the bench of Inkatha Freedom Party leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi provoked outrage among politicians as some believed it was left there as an insult before a speech by President Thabo Mbeki.
One member of parliament demanded a formal apology from the speaker of parliament.
But a police spokesman said Friday it amounted to a simple call of nature.
“It was one of our police dogs we use to sweep the premises,” Inspector Dennis Adriao told Reuters.
“The handler did try to clean it up and missed some of it. Obviously, we have apologized to (Buthelezi) for any embarrassment caused,” he said.
Buthelezi was home affairs minister until last year when Mbeki dropped him after Inkatha and the ruling African National Congress fell out.
 

World-record 124-pound blue catfish dies

A record 124-pound blue catfish caught earlier this week by an Illinois man fishing in the Mississippi River died on its way to the Cabela’s Outfitter store where it was to go on display.
Tim Pruitt, 33, of Godfrey, Ill., caught the world-record blue catfish early Sunday near Alton.
The fish, measuring 58 inches long and 44 inches around, was kept alive and was to be displayed in a tank at Cabela’s in Kansas City, Kan., but it died en route to the store.
“We’re baffled by this,” Fred Cronin, a fisheries biologist for the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, told The Kansas City Star. “We took a lot of precautions to see that the fish was comfortable.
“But we’re talking about a fish that was very old, very heavy,” he said. “The stress of being transported like that could have been too much.”

Tailpiece

Lost in translation

There was an American man that had a meeting in France. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting. While they were having sex, she was yelling, “TROU FAUX, TROU FAUX.” He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of praise.
The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of them made a hole in one. He yelled, “TROU FAUX,TROU FAUX !”
They looked at him and said, “what do you mean wrong hole?”