Dr. ABBAS 

Ejaculates Quickly
Q. I am 33 years old and my husband is 43 years old. I think my partner ejaculates too quickly. How can I help him last longer?
Concerned Reader, DSM.

A. You will need to talk to him about self-training program for men who want to prolong their ability to thrust. This program uses tried and tested techniques to help him learn greater ejaculatory control and increase your sexual power. Make sure that you take a positive and loving approach rather than a critical one. You could also talk to him about squeeze techniques. When he feels close to orgasm use your forefingers and thumb to grasp his penis at the ridge at the tip or base of his penis. Squeeze hard. This blocks the exit route for ejaculation and although your partner may partially lose his erection he will be able to get it through future stimulation.
Another way to spend a long time on sex, keeping a continuous erection is not really necessary as your husband can allow wax and wane before he finally ejaculates. For example, if he stops full body contact in order to concentrate on giving the partner oral sex, he is likely to lose his erection until the sex focus returns to him. He just needs to trust that his erection can be revived and it can. If he is concerned that he will ejaculate too quickly during sex, try the squeeze technique as described above. Remember that sustaining intercourse for long period is not always desirable; both you and your partner may find that sensation becomes blunted and your genitals can feel as though they have been anaesthetized.

Safer Sex
Q. I am 30 years old and my husband is 37 years old. We have been married for 8 years. I am very much attracted to another man who is also married and would like to have sex with me. We have agreed to have sex already. What about oral sex? How safe is oral sex? I would like to know a few things before I get involved with a new person for protective reasons. I know condom, but he does not get enough stimulation. He says his penis gets limp when putting on a condom. How should I approach this matter?
Concern Reader, Dodoma.

A. Different sexual acts involve different degrees of risk. To be complete safe you need to avoid any exchange of body fluids. You could discuss with him by saying that you only feel safe by having safe sex and using condom. Oral sex is not entirely safe because semen and vagina fluids come in contact with the skin and mucous membranes of the mouth. If these mucous membranes are broken or ulcerated in some way, maybe by cold sore or bleeding gums, etc. HIV can enter the body via infected semen or vaginal fluid. You can make oral sex safer by using a condom during fellatio and a latex barrier during cunnilingus.
As regards not getting enough sexual stimulation on using condoms, tell your partner to try experimenting with different brands of condoms. If traditional latex condoms do not work for him try to use polyurethane condoms, which are much finer. You could also discuss with your partner the option using female condoms, which are also available. Another tip is that he should have enough erotic foreplay so that you are very aroused before you put condom.
To your last part of the question it is quite common and the best way to overcome it is to make condoms sexy. Start with a genital massage that turns into masturbating your partner with one hand, slip the rolled up condom onto the top of the penis with other. Continue to masturbate him as you roll the condom down the shaft of his penis. There is no risk involved in dry kissing, semen or vaginal fluids coming in contact with intact skin, self-masturbating, cuddling and caressing.

Worried about Genitals
Q. I am 26 years old. I have been told by my friends that my vagina is abnormal. I am worried that my genitals are not normal, especially my vaginal lips, which seems really long and floppy. Secondly, my pubic hair grows on my inner thigh and up to my naval. What can I do?
Concerned Reader, Arusha.

A. Do not worry, it is absolutely normal to have vagina lips that extends outside the outer lips of the vulva. There are as many genital appearances as there are facial features, none is more beautiful or ugly than the other. Secondly, this probably means that you have a very high sex drive. Women who have a lot of body hair, a tendency towards acne and sometimes a slight greasy skin, are usually women who posses a lot of natural hormones. This only gives you a high sex drive, it should also make it easy for you to become aroused and reach orgasm.