Dr. ABBAS 

Vincilagnia

Q. I am 35 years old and my husband is 45 years old. The other night, after having sex, my wife and I started discussing our fantasies. We shared lots of the same desires and want to try them, but my wife then said she wanted to be handcuffed to the bed while we made love. Is this normal? Should I go along with it? Personally I am not sure. I wonder if you can you will help me.
Concerned Reader, DSM.

A. Vincilagnia means arousal from bondage. Bondage refers to the act of restricting the movement of a person. Bondage can be physical or symbolic and may involve many different methods. Bondage is great fun so long as it does not get out of hand. There is an element of bondage in all-sexual play. Fantasy about rape is common but has no connection with the real thing. Men and women brutalized by rape suffer scars long after their tormentors have ceased attracting attention from the law. There is a fine line between enjoyment and fear. Even a close loving relationships can be brought in question when this line is crossed. If you find this hard to accept, try looking very closely at yourself in the mirror and make threatening faces. Unless you have a different type of mirror from mine, it can scare you off. Only use rope, which can be broken, handcuffs which have an emergency breakage built in, and never ever tie anything around the neck not even in fun. Strangulation is unfortunately not a rare thing during sexual play.

Penis Rings
Q. I am 55 years old and my husband is 58 years old. My husband wants to use penis rings to prolong the sexual erection and stimulation. As for the time being I am not satisfied with sex. What are the penis rings and how do they work? What should be done regarding it? How should I approach it?
Reader, Moshi.

A. Penis rings are designed for men who have problems maintaining an erection. A common reason for this is that blood flow into the penis leaks away again due to organic damage. The penis ring, which is worn at the base of shaft, grips the penis tightly enough to lock in blood, enabling the man to sustain the erection and enjoy a satisfactory experience of intercourse. Penis rings should only be worn for a limited time to avoid damage to the penis. A penis ring is one of the oldest mechanical sex aids used for sustaining an erection for a longer than ordinary period. One of the oldest penis rings was called a hairy ring. This was made from the eyelashes of a slain goat. These were chemically treated and inlaid in rings that fit over the penis. Today’s version has soft bristles or blunt points all designed to provide extra stimulation of the vagina during coitus. A rubber beaded erection ring that doubles as a penis ring and vaginal when worn at the base of the penis. Metal or plastic penis rings are placed in position by first inserting one testicle through the ring, followed by the second testicle, and finally the flaccid penis is pulled through. Rings are available in models of approximately different sizes to fit the base of the penis. Rubber bands should never be used as a substitute devise as they are too tight. The penis ring has to be safe, easy to apply and easy to take off.

Sex Intimacy In Later Life
Q. I am 69 years old and my wife is 65 years. My wife does not seem to want to have sex these days. She says that it does not give her any more sexual arousal and stimulation. Is this natural part of the aging process or is there something wrong?.
Concerned Reader, Zanzibar.

A. Some sexual and emotional problems become more common in later life. These include lack of vaginal lubrication, slow arousal times and a breakdown in intimacy and affection between partners. The following tips can help. Improve vaginal lubrication by using good quality lubricants. There are available in the form of jellies and pessaries. Some products have specially designed applicators. Improve sensation during sex by spending much longer on mutual stimulation and foreplay. Improve erotic stimulation try getting absorbed in sex stuffs. Good erotica can often excite the process of desire and arousal and be a genuine sex aid. Sexy literature can do the same thing. You can also try using sex toys if need arise. Improve your body’s physical responses. Consider taking hormones. Make a date for intimacy and give each other the present of a message session. Cuddle, stroke and hug several times a day. Say how attractive, handsome, beautiful the other looks. Be romantic by holding hands when walking and when watching a film together. Kissing and cuddling each other makes you feel stimulated.